Talent and Skill

Talent you have naturally.

Skill you develop through hours and hours and hours of deliberate practice.

No matter how talented you are it does not matter if you do not develop skill.  It takes work.

80/20 rule:  The top 20% skill in each domain takes 80% of the value.  The mediocre 80% share the crumbs.

I didn't figure this out when I was at school, nor university.  I got through on basic talent and a lucky ability to perform at my very best under exam conditions.

It took a big blow in my life to shake me out of reliance on talent and luck.

Sales is 18-3-1

Sales is 18-3-1.

18 calls.
3 meetings.
1 sale.

It is never any faster, quicker or shorter.  There is no easy way.  There is no 100% close.

There are 7 billion people in the world.  1 billion have phones.  800 million are on facebook.

Keep up the 18-3-1.  Don't try to make it into 18-3-2.  Never works.

Jerry Seinfeld was asked the secret of his success "hard work".  He went on stage as a comedian twice a night for 18 months straight before he was paid his first dollar as a comedian.  He gave the 5 minute routine that he gave on the Tonight Show in 1981 200 times before delivering it live on the show.  

The short cut?  Stop reading this and get accumulating your 18 calls.

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Another way to improve your confidence is regular practice.  I have been developing an online module of my Persuasive Communications seminar.  It is available here: Improve My Speaking. Feel free to share this resource with friends (and people who need it).

Social Media is about Relationships

"Social Media is not about technology, it is about the relationships you can form" Charlene Li, author of Groundswell.

I had the privilege of having coffee with Charlene Li before she spoke to 400 people in IESE Business School's Aula Magna in Barcelona at the HSM Social Media event.  Watch the video of our interview on the blog.

"I don't want to be 'messaged', engage with me"


We spoke about her book, examples of companies who use social media effectively, and how she, as a parent, manages her family's exposure to social media.



“It’s not just about listening, it’s about learning and changing...  to consumers marketing often feels like someone shouting at them. That is not a dialogue. You need to join the conversation but you have to have the conversation with your customers that they want to have.”

Does your company use facebook, twitter, google+ effectively?  

Teaching Manifesto

“A person cannot teach another person directly; a person can only facilitate another's learning” Carl Rogers

This is how I want to Teach:

• I create an environment in which participants can learn.  I am responsible for setting the mood in the room.
• I teach leaders.  I accept zero excuses.  I will never, never, never provide pity.  I expect 100% responsibility of each participant for their actions, their preparation, their interventions, their learning.
• I know every participant is capable of the growth required.
• I am neither above or below anyone in the room.
• I ask people for their specific goals.  I am responsible for ensuring that everyone sees how my course, my teaching, their participation is relevant to their current reality and the problems they face.
• I am a participant, a member of the group.  I aim to learn alongside the group.
• I take the initiative in sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences, reflections in ways which others can take or leave.  I tell stories that participants can relate to.
• I teach adults.  Everything I teach applies to real life.  All content is judged by its direct application to improvement in the quality of life of participants, during and for as long as possible after the course.  My teaching is a journey of mutual enquiry.
• I refer to a wide range of resources for learning. I trust participants to read, view, buy, borrow what serves them.

Inspired by the writings of psychologist and educator Carl R. Rogers, guidelines for the facilitation of learning.

Trust

What is Trust?  

Trust is the currency of social relationships.  Trust is the willingness to rely on the actions of another person.  In a relationship of trust, the trustor is willing to release control over the actions of the trustee.

Trust is an economic lubricant, reducing transaction costs.  Greater levels of trust in a society accelerate business activity, increase employment and increase prosperity.

A good thing then this Trust.

What is Trust made of?

Charles Green describes the 4 ingredients of Trust in the Trust Equation:

Where:

• T = Trust
• C = Perception of Credibility
• R = Perception of Reliability
• I = Intimacy
• SO = Perception of Self-Orientation

How do you Increase Trust?

In order to Increase Trust = Increase Perception of Credibility or Increase Perception of Reliability or Increase Intimacy or Reduce Perception of Self-Orientation.


Ways to increase Perception of Credibility:

• Tell the truth.
• Don't exaggerate.
• Avoid saying things that others may see as lies (eg "We'll put our best people on it")
• If you don't know, say "I don't know".  Quickly.
• If you don't belong, don't go.
• Do your homework.
• Care about the work.

Ways to increase Perception of Reliability:

• Make specific small commitments and deliver 100%.  
• Send meeting materials in advance.
• Make sure meetings have clear goals, and that those goals are met.
• Use the words your listener would use.
• Review agendas for meetings.
• Re-confirm events 24 hours before.

Ways to Increase Intimacy:

• Ask insightful questions.
• Share first.

Ways to Reduce Perception of Self-Orientation:

• Ask questions.  
• Listen and paraphrase without adding anything.
• Resist the need to fill silences. 
• Focus on defining the problem, not guessing the solution.
• Say "I don't know" if you don't know.
• Take responsibility for failed communications ("I have failed to communicate clearly" vs "You don't understand")
• Think as if you were completely responsable for this person's future success in all aspects that are important to the other person.
• Care about the work.  If you don't care about the work, it is inevitable that you will focus more on yourself.  Low self orientation is all about intensity of your commitment to help your listener.

An example:  

Imagine that we rate each variable on a 1 to 10 scale.  We have a business relationship between a client Tom and a salesman Mary.  It is early days in their dealings.  Tom's perception of Mary is:

Credibility = 7

Reliability = 5

Intimacy = 4

Self Orientation = 8

Trust = 7 + 5 + 4 / 8 = 2

Any mathematical minds will rapidly have seen that changing the divisor SO will have the greatest possible impact on trust levels.  Reducing SO from 8 to 4 doubles trust.  Reducing SO to 2 quadruples trust.  Reducing SO to 1 multiplies trust by 8.

Perfection would be a score of 30.  

Reducing Self-Orientation

Reducing Self-Orientation is the greatest lever to increase trust.  Ask more questions.  Listen.  Don't fill silences.  Trust increases wealth.  Trust is the lubricant of wealth creation. 

Do people perceive you as reliable?  Do people perceive you as credible?  Do people perceive you as interested in them, or ego-centric?  (How do you know?)

If, Rudyard Kipling

Parador of Cardona, 9th Century

Last week I was at the anual retreat of my chapter of Entrepreneurs' Organisation.  We spent 3 days in the Parador of Cardona reflecting on our next year from both a professional and personal perspective.

Dinner on Thursday night was a session we call "Noche Bohemia".  Each person brings a song, poem or book that has marked a significant moment in their lives.

I shared this poem by Rudyard Kipling with the group.  I first read this poem in 1981, during a time when I was reading, dreaming, imagining Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

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If...

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

What one book, song or poem would you share?  Why is it important to you?

Elvis and Self-Confidence

This is a guest post from Emily Matthews.  Emily is currently applying to masters degree programs across the U.S., and loves to read about new research into health care, gender issues, and literature. She lives and writes in Seattle, Washington.

Elvis and Self-Confidence

Elvis Presley is a man who radiated sexuality and confidence.



Early interviews show a nervous, timid person

However, early interviews with Elvis Presley show a young man who spends a lot of time staring down at his feet and who seems to have a hard time expressing himself without freezing up with nervousness. It doesn’t take a masters degree to know that something significant had to change. Somewhere between his first record and his comeback tour, Elvis came into his own and developed the swagger and self-confidence that became his trademark.

One possible explanation for this was that Elvis decided to adopt a public persona — one that exuded confidence and kept the real Elvis hidden.  Elvis memorized entire passages from James Dean movies, as well as films starring Marlon Brando. Both of those actors portrayed characters that seemed supremely self-confident and it seems quite possible that Elvis decided to emulate those characters when he appeared in public.

Fake it til you make it

The famous saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it,” rings true.  In Conor's post on confidence, the first step is to pretend.  When Elvis appeared on stage, it seems as if parts of Dean and Brando had materialized into the way he presented himself.  This kind of persona-adoption would have translated from Elvis the performer into Elvis the person.

How can this help out today’s entrepreneurs and businesspeople?

Simple — anyone can take on aspects of a different persona. Naturally, it does not happen overnight, but it definitely can be done. The first step in doing this is understanding what kind of persona the individual is going to adopt. After all, while James Dean might seem to be the epitome of old-fashioned cool, he might not do well in today’s business environment. Look at people around you, and determine what characteristics of theirs you’d like to emulate. Don’t abandon your own personality, but augment it - what makes these people confident, and how can you adopt that?

Be yourself, but amplify the positive

For most people, using a persona that is similar to themselves but has some subtle differences is probably the best way to go. So, if an entrepreneur is shy about approaching strangers, he might imagine himself with confidence and style. Then, before approaching a new client, he might consider going through various “role-playing” scenarios with friends and associates, followed by using real-world experience.

Of course, part of Elvis’ later self-confidence came from focusing on his own natural talent. It is easy to find a form of self-confidence when everyone around a person is singing praises. For an entrepreneur, focus more on what it is that makes a product or service being sold unique. Tap into the passion that originally inspired you, and before you know it, your nervousness will dissipate.

Keep this journey of personal growth going

As more and more people appreciated Elvis, his shyness faded and his fame grew. In the same manner, as entrepreneurs and people in business stick to their vision of achieving success, each step towards reaching that success will help to eliminate some of the shyness — especially shyness caused by not having faith in one’s products or services.

Self-confidence is one of those intangible character traits that sometimes seem to suddenly appear out of nowhere, but the fact is the more a person focuses on what it is that makes what he or she has to offer unique and important, the less time a person will spend on being self-conscious and uncertain. Follow the example of The King, and learn how to swagger with the best of them.


What do you think?  Who has positive traits that you might benefit from emulating?



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Another way to improve your confidence is regular practice.  I have been developing an online module of my Persuasive Communications seminar.  It is available here: Improve My Speaking. Feel free to share this resource with friends (and people who need it).