Comfortable or Meaningful

If you want to be something more, you have to make sacrifices.


The choice: Comfortable or Meaningful.

This is a wonderful animated short film by Mike Dacko, his first independent film.  He did all of the visuals on a laptop.

 

What do you think of the metaphor?  Did you like the story?

Networking in Seven Simple Steps

This post was originally published at IESE Insight Business Knowledge Portal and is based on the longer technical note "Creating and Nurturing your Social Network: The Art of Building Long-term Mutually Beneficial Relationships" written by Fabrizio Ferraro and myself last year.

Networking is like brushing your teeth.

Networking is like brushing your teeth. Does it feel natural or enjoyable? Not really. Is it enough to just brush when a toothache occurs? Regrettably no.

In the same way, networking requires constant and careful attention over a prolonged period of time.

In their technical note, “Creating and Nurturing Your Social Network: The Art of Building Long-term Mutually Beneficial Relationships,” IESE’s Fabrizio Ferraro and Conor Neill draw a distinction between what networking is and what it is not.

They suggest that the familiar scramble for assistance when something urgent is needed – a job, some advice or a charitable donation – is not actually networking, but rather, part of the “sales” process.

In fact, most of your useful networking relationships will be developed long before you actually need them. What’s more, the longer you work on your investment, the greater the return can be.

Start Small
Networking does not come naturally to most people. A bountiful garden is not created overnight. The plants are selected with careful deliberation and nurtured over time. Unwanted weeds are slowly identified and removed.

If you want to grow a garden, the question may well be, “How do I begin?” The answer is easy. “Start today and take small steps.”

Communicate. Ask lots of questions and show an interest in the passions of the people you meet. If you need a favor early on, then don’t ask too much. Simple requests for advice or contact suggestions make it easy for others to help you. You need to make a deposit in the relationship bank before asking for a large withdrawal.

Appreciate. Always let people know you appreciate their help. A written thank-you note or a thoughtful act stands out in a world where e-mail reigns supreme.

Inventory. It doesn’t hurt to make a list every now and then. Who do you know? Even more important, who do you want to know?

Seven Steps to Success
Here are some practical considerations to help you master the art of building long-term mutually beneficial relationships.

1. Interdependence. Our teamwork ability and relationship management skills are every bit as important as the projects we undertake. It pays to acknowledge the value of the networking process and make space for it.

2. Longevity. Good things take time and you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. The key is to start building your network long before you need it.

3. Reciprocity. Networking is not all about what others can do for you. Think about what you can bring to the table. Sometimes it begins with a simple compliment about a presentation or project. If you offer someone help, then be sure to follow through. Trust and reputation depend on reliability.

4. Similarity. While it’s easier to befriend people who are like you, it’s always possible to find some middle ground with others, no matter how different they might appear at first. Step outside your comfort zone and learn from people with diverse backgrounds, objectives and incentives. Bill Gates once said in an interview that he prefers to read an entire magazine, not only the parts that interest him. That way, you always learn something new.

5. Proximity. Most social relationships are born out of proximity. However, being close won’t help you if you don’t try to get actively involved.

6. Cross-fertilization. Successful leaders influence contacts from one network to another. Think about the people in your contact list. Who needs attention? Who is owed favors or needs your help? You can begin thinking of your network as a lifetime journey, rather than a one-off effort.

7. Sociability. If you do not enjoy meeting new people, it is unlikely that they will enjoy spending time with you. Therefore, it is key to find venues and situations where you actually enjoy networking, rather than forcing yourself to schmooze in uncomfortable settings. Meeting new people can be fun as long as you find out what works best for you and don’t approach it as a chore.

Beyond Professional Success
Make time to lead a well-rounded life outside of work. It can be a powerful and rewarding experience to share time with people who value you, not for what you do or what you bring them. These relationships are a valuable source of energy and self-confidence.

In all aspects of life, networking doesn’t come down to the basic question, “How will this benefit me?” Rather, it makes more sense to ask, “How can I add to this situation?”

You will be rewarded in time as your garden grows.

Can you help me?
How do you "network"?  Can you network in an authentic fashion?  Are some people good and some people hopeless at networking?  Is it a learnt skill?  I am preparing a series of seminars on networking at IESE Business School for the incoming MBA class.  What should I share with them?  How can they best connect out to companies, leaders, potential mentors and advisors?  Please share your thoughts (in the blog comments, on facebook, in LinkedIn or through email blog[at]cono.rs )

There is no Freedom without Self Discipline

Freedom is dangerous without self discipline.

photo: Markop

Few people will get anything important done in life without a boss, a parent, a teacher.  It is the removal of freedom that allows creation. Completion requires constraints: deadlines, scope, format...

We chaff at the chains, but they serve us.

My boss is an idiot, but without her insistance I wouldn't have finished the document.

My teacher knows nothing about the real world, but without his deadline I wouldn't have written the essay.

My landlord is cruel, but without his insistence on payment of rent I would not have gotten out of the bed, out of the house, into the world, served a paying customer, grown, learnt.

Constraints serve.

Freedom is dangerous without self discipline.

Happiness is just over that Green Hill

I've always loved this song (Learn to be Still) from The Eagles.  It has become my favourite over the last week on the beach and by the pool. I had never paid too much attention to the words until today...

Learn To Be Still

It's just another day in paradise
As you stumble to your bed
You'd give anything to silence
Those voices ringing in your head
You thought you could find happiness
Just over that green hill
You thought you would be satisfied
But you never will-
Learn to be still

We are like sheep without a shepherd
We don't know how to be alone
So we wander 'round this desert
And wind up following the wrong gods home
But the flock cries out for another
And they keep answering that bell
And one more starry-eyed messiah
Meets a violent farewell-
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

Now the flowers in your garden
They don't smell so sweet
Maybe you've forgotten
The heaven lying at your feet

There are so many contradictions
In all these messages we send
(We keep asking) How do I get out of here?
Where do I fit in?
Though the world is torn and shaken
Even if your heart is breakin'
It's waiting for you to awaken
And someday you will-
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

You just keep on runnin'
Keep on runnin'

What is your favourite song this summer?

Success as an Entrepreneur

This was originally posted here on Quora as my answer to the question "What does it take to be a successful entrepreneur?"

When I was 13 my grandfather said to me "Conor, success is earning more than your father." I accepted this as fact.

Wisdom, photo wallyg

When I was 30 my definition of success became "$30 million in the bank by age 42". I had a fast growth startup and was building towards a big sale.

When I was 34 the #*$%& hit the fan. Business collapsed. I found myself alone. I faced my personal "abyss". The black hole. I questioned a lot of my ideas about life.

Today, my definition of success is to have stories that my grandchildren want to listen to.


Success is a "big" term. Each person will have their own ideas of what success might mean.

There are some metrics that are easy - capital raised, IPO valuation, money, sales, # employees, # customers... just because they are easy to measure doesn't make them the most important.

There are some metrics that are very hard - freedom, making a difference to people's lives, leaving a legacy, growing as a human being, autonomy... these can be what is truly important... but difficult to use external measures to know if you are doing "well".

Success is not an Absolute.

So: success is not an absolute phenomenon. We each run our own race and start at our own start, and finish at our own finish. We can look at others, but we have no idea about their individual journey.

I would say that facing your own "abyss" is the moment where you can truly clarify who "you" are. Not the you that your parent's want, nor the you that your friends remember, but the you that is inside and hidden behind the "shoulds" of your inner voice. Only by taking 100% responsibility for your own life can you go through the path to the abyss and face your fears. I believe that only entrepreneurship allows a 100% responsible for my life attitude - so it is one of the few paths that allow you to grow to your fullest potential as a human being.

I wish you a life that gives you stories that your grandkids will sit and listen to.

Everything you need to know about Business

Here is a summary of everything you need to know about business:

1. Revenues minus Costs equals Profits.
2. If an initiative does not affect revenues or costs then it is not a business initiative.
3. If costs remain higher than revenues for an extended period, you have what is known as a Charity.
4. If you don't understand somebody it is probably because they don't understand it either. Do not be fooled by big titles or expensive suits.

Brad Feld's Startup Rule #1

Startup Rule #1 from Brad Feld: Get a mentor.  Love your mentor.  Embrace your mentor. Stay close to your mentor.  Listen.  Ask questions.

Check out his video on Bloomberg TV.

The worst pitches?  Totally incomprensible, you keep looking for the genius in the madness...  but you just can't find it.  (7 vital elements of a pitch)

Next 5 years?  We have gone from carrying phones to carrying massive computing power in our pockets, twitter, facebook have all arisen in last 5...  hard to imagine what 5 years from now will look like.   The machines are getting us to put all the data into them, so they know everything about us.  2012 will be when the robots took over.

I keep Brad's blog in my RSS reader.  His site Ask The VC is an excellent resource if you are raising capital for a startup.

A Life in Status Updates

Imagine if we lived 50 years into the future.  Your grandparents are in their 30s or 40s now, your parents are teenagers.

Question: What would you like to read on their facebook, linkedin, Google+, twitter, youTube or their blog?  What parts of their life would you want to understand more?  What stories would matter to you?

My friend Mathieu thought this was a dumb question.  He said "why don't you pick up the phone and ask them?"

Free your Mind: Writing a Journal.

Would you like lower stress, increased focus, improved memory, faster learning?  Sounds good?  There is one simple 5 minute daily habit that can help.  It will also make you a better communicator.  It might be worth a test?

There are 3 major benefits of keeping a written journal.  

1. Writing slows down time
2. The past is a great resource, but only if well documented
3. A journal is a good life habit, increased mindfulness and awareness of the patterns around you

What to write about?  Here are 20 starting questions to reflect on in your journal.

How to do your best writing?  These are some places that I do my best writing.

How about 5 minutes a day for the next 30 days?  Have a go.  If it works, great.  If it doesn't, burn the pages and send me an email requesting (politely) the return of the 150 minutes that were "wasted" in this endeavor.

I write in a paper notepad with a biro.  This works best for me.  There was a 2 year period where I wrote on a Palm Pilot (1997-1999).  Others write on a computer or iPad.  

Do you have a journal?  Would love to know how you do it - what tool do you use?  do you do it at a regular time?  what are the positive benefits that you have seen from journaling?